Hitchin' a Ride

During my two months of traveling after Korea, I spent a lot of time moving from place to place. Although I walked my legs off most days, it was inevitable I would be hitching a ride at some point. And, hitch a ride I did...

Number of...

Airplanes: 17

Personal cars/vans: 4

Hired cars: 1

Taxis: Hundreds

City buses: 7

Micro-buses: 3

Tour buses/vans: 3

Subways: Several in Shanghai and Istanbul

Trains: 3

Funiculars: 1

Maglevs: 1

Faluccas: 1

Med/Lg Boats: 3

Canal boats: 1

Horse & Buggies: 1

Camels: 1

Elephants: 1

Goodbye Paradise

Although I wasn't ready to leave behind the life of a beach bum, I was excited to reacquaint with a few more friends and explore an area of the world I had never experienced, the Middle East. Our last days in Thailand were spent at another beachside retreat, World Resort; and aside from our wild encounters with elephants, monkeys, and crocodiles, we ended the week in Koh Samui just like we began—lounging in the sand and floating in the water.

Bungalows by the beach!!!

The outdoor restaurant at the resort.

These little guys were all over the island. This one in particular watched us eat dinner while trying to catch a few bugs of his own.

Our bungalow

The outdoor restaurant lit up against the backdrop of a black ocean.

Celebrity Encounter

One of the monkeys was gracious enough to take time out from her busy post-performance schedule and pose for a few photos. Unfortunately, nobody had a pen so I didn't get an autograph.

Sawatdee

Not Natural... Volume 4

New animals... but still Not a Good Idea.

Not Natural... Volume 3

This is Not a Good Idea taken to the next level...

Not Natural... Volume 2

Once again, this video falls under the Not a Good Idea category. It also includes an added element of physical danger...

Not Natural... Volume 1

The first in a series of videos displaying the life of a Thai animal. It's not natural and it's definitely... Not a Good Idea.

Poor monkeys.

Smarty Pants

Having the largest brain in the animal kingdom, elephants are among the most intelligent creatures on earth. Competing alongside whales, dolphins, monkeys, and apes; an elephant's brain allows it to solve complex problems and exhibit complicated emotions. Their memory storage space is much larger than that of a human; and the volume of their brain used in cognitive processing exceeds that of any other land animal—including all primate species.

Thought to be highly altruistic, elephants occasionally show concern for the welfare and safety of other animals and humans. Such sympathy and deep emotions are often displayed in their death rituals. As the only other species outside of humans known to have ceremonies surrounding death, elephants often bury their deceased and revisit the site several times for a period of days; all the while whaling and mourning their loss.

Their behaviors surrounding grief, mimicry, the use of tools, self-awareness, compassion, memory, play, and family all suggest elephants are a highly intelligent species capable of learning, processing, and remembering more than we, as humans, might imagine.

Elephant Trekking

Riding an elephant is not like riding a horse, a camel, or a donkey.

It's not like riding a bike, a jet ski, or a go-cart, either.

Riding an elephant is uncomfortable, unstable, and unsafe.

It's also hilarious, fascinating, and exotic.

Some might say, it's Not a Good Idea.

I say, it's worth the risk.

Koh Samui, Thailand

A visit to the Thai Island of Koh Samui marked the half-way point on my trip, and I was grateful for the chance to relax alongside the hypnotic ocean waves.

Thanks to a generous donation from Andrea's family, we booked a room at the luxurious Renaissance Resort, a Marriott property. After almost a month of random hostels and sub-par hotels I was ready to indulge.

A few little things were big luxuries to me at that point in the trip:

Large comfortable unbunked beds with clean linens

Slippers and a robe

The option of a hairdryer

Not feeling the need to wear sandals when showering

The ability to control the room temperature

Little bottles of tropical smelling shampoo and conditioner

TV

Without a schedule, or the need to explore, we sat at the beach for 5 days rarely feeling guilty about our inertia.

The pool and beachside bungalows, which seemed to be exclusively for honeymooners.

For a semi-hefty price, you could enjoy a romantic dinner for two in the open-air bungalow. For obvious reasons, Andrea and I decided against this option.

Tanya, our masseuse/pedicurist/tropical foot scrub guru. She earns a living by walking up and down the beach offering up her various pampering services for a reasonable price. After watching other resort residents enjoy a massage or pedicure, we decided she was legit and began to experience the joys of beachside massages.

If massages aren't your thing, you can also purchase an umbrella, dress, or scarf from one of the various vendors.

A new friend that made his home beneath my beach chair.

Meow

Tigers and monks.

Typically, the two seem incompatible—monks are calm, tigers are not. But, in Thailand, anything is possible.

Wat Pa Luangta Bua Yannasampanno Forest Monastery (or, Tiger Temple) in Kanchanaburi, Thailand, is a self-proclaimed animal sanctuary for a variety of free-roaming creatures including jungle fowl, peacocks, wild boar, cows, deer, buffalo, goats, and horses. In 1999, the temple received its first tiger cub after its mother was poached along the nearby Thai/Burma border. The Western Forest Complex, stretching along the border, is the largest area of protected land in Asia, and home to what is believed to be the largest tiger population in the region. However, poaching still occurs frequently and the wild tiger population will continue to dwindle without the help of conservationists.

On the downside (and something we were unaware of at the time of our visit), a British conservationist group, Care for the Wild International (CWI), claims the tiger temple is merely masquerading as a sanctuary for rescued animals when, in reality, it operates as an illegal breeding facility involved in the trafficking of tigers to Laos. Today, the CWI continues its investigation and work in moving the tigers to a safer location. In the meantime, the Tiger Temple maintains its innocence and hopes to achieve "tiger harmony."

Regardless of the temple's intent, petting and posing with live tigers is probably...

Not a Good Idea.

Tiger Canyon

The people in blue shirts are the workers/volunteers who lead you around by hand and literally watch your back.

Tiger Temple claims the cats are not drugged, but "have been regularly handled from a very early age and thus became desensitized to being touched by people." Hmm....

Each personal guide tells visitors exactly where to place their hand and instructs them to use firm pressure when touching the tigers.

The entire tiger-touching experience lasts approximately 5-8 minutes—not enough time to fully realize the ridiculousness of what you're actually doing.

The only time I flinched—when the tiger on the right whipped his head around with an open mouth. I'm still alive.

The above picture from the Tiger Temple brochure was directly under an unrelated warning box that read:

Please do not wear "bright color" (red or orange) on your visit to the Tiger Temple.

Someone isn't setting a very good example...

Seeing Spots

Pad Thai, t-shirts, elephant statues, necklaces, a live baby leopard, paintings, fans, soda, ice cream, photo albums, batteries, and wind chimes. Just a few things you might stumble upon while shopping in Thailand...

One might say (me), this is Not a Good Idea.

Floating Market Video

The Bridge Over the River Kwai

After Japanese forces seized Burma (now Myanmar) from British control in 1942, they needed a way to traffic supplies from Thailand into their new country. Shipping cargo by sea was considered too dangerous because of possible attacks by Allied submarines so construction plans for a new railway began. Originally, the proposed route through Burma into Thailand was considered too dangerous due to the hilly jungle terrain; but desperate times call for desperate measures and forced laborers began construction at the Thai end on June 22, 1942.

Nearly 180,000 Asian laborers and 60,000 Allied POWs worked in extreme and dangerous conditions. Of these, 106,000 died as a direct result of the project, including Asian, British, Dutch, Australian, American, and Canadian soldiers.

The most famous portion of the railway, Bridge 277; which was immortalized in Pierre Boulle's book, The Bridge On the River Kwai, was completed in 1943. After several attempts by Allies at destroying the bridge, US bombers finally crushed it in 1945.

Today, tourists can take a ride along the Death Railway on a small train or walk across the bridge's precarious tracks. With enough space between some planks to almost fall into the river below, I've decided it's Not A Good Idea.

View from the bridge

What do you do if you're on a bridge, you're afraid of heights, and a train comes down the tracks?

Floating Market

Where: Somewhere just outside of Bangkok, Thailand

What: Damnoen Saduak, a real floating market—not some random guy in a boat with found objects

Why: Because we were so disappointed after Gilligan took us on a 20 second tour

Hordes of tourists, a kaleidoscope of fruit, impossibly tight waterways, nerve-wrackingly flat boats, and one overly enthusiastic man with a python all coagulate into the nucleus of one of Thailand's most famous floating markets. What was once the location for an actual exchange of goods between locals has now become a source of revenue for the tourist industry as people pay a few dollars to ride along the canals, or khlongs, while trying out local foods and picking up last-minute souvenirs.

As you cruise the canal, men and women in various boats slice fresh mango before packaging it for purchase. Want to sip coconut milk?... just hail a boat over. Need some hot soup?... find the boat with a stove. How about a hat?.... there's a boat for that, too. Alongside the canal, stilts support small shops flooded with Thai souvenirs. If you're in need of a large painting, and you would like to purchase it while riding in a tiny boat, then you're in luck.

My favorite stilt-supported "shop" wasn't very fancy and didn't have much pizzazz. What it did have, though, was a man in a lawn chair and a python. Behind him was a sign that read:

Photo Big Snake

(No Dangerous)

... and so begins a series of sightings and experiences throughout my travels I call, Not A Good Idea.

The main stretch of the canal

A very small kitchen!

Notice the pot... on top of the stove... in the boat...

To make sure things are precise, he even as a scale!

My dream boat—bananas, bananas, and more bananas

This boy was washing the dishes in the canal. I decided not to get anything from a bowl after that.

A canal-side store—just float up and point to what you want!

Wave an arm if you need a hat

Looks a little uncomfortable

Do you see the snake across his lap?

Not a good idea.