Where You Going?

written October 23, 2009....

Standing on the corner of a Bangkok intersection with a map in hand has the same effect as sucking on a car's exhaust pipe while mosquitoes bite your legs. That is to say, the air is dirty and the pesky tuk-tuk drivers don't take no for an answer. Even if you already have a plan, they'll try to "help" you and offer their own suggestions.

Example #1

Tuk-tuk driver: Hey! Where you going?

Us: .... the Grand Palace.

Tuk-tuk driver: I'll take you... 20 baht. And, I'll show you Sleeping Buddha, Standing Buddha, and Golden Mount. Same price.

Us: 20 baht?

Tuk-tuk driver: Yes, you just make one stop for me. I need gasoline.

From what we've gathered, the tuk-tuk drivers are sponsored by different merchants who sell various over-priced goods: gems, silk, etc. If the driver brings a customer to the store for 10 minutes he receives money and a tank of gas. It's seemingly easy money for the driver so they insist you help them out.

Us: No, we want to go direct. How much for direct?

Tuk-tuk driver: No, direct is 200 baht. Please, one stop and you get good price. You like beautiful gemstones? Tailor? Suit, handmade.

Us: (hesitate)

Tuk-tuk driver: Two stops and you get free ride.

Example #2

If the roads were empty and the Wats (temples) open until late at night, time wouldn't be an issue. However, getting from point A to point B takes twice as long or more than it should thanks to the saturated roads and unbelievably out of the way "stops." If you are able to negotiate a price with your driver including or excluding stops, you're only halfway there. Once in the tuk-tuk, it is imperative to hold on for dear life. As the drivers swerve through traffic, exhaust from the surrounding cars, trucks, tuk-tuks, mopeds, and buses swirls through the air. The open tuk-tuks provide relief from the heat, but compensate their convenience by offering their riders a glimpse into death by asphyxiation.

As the crowded streets inflate at night so do the transportation prices. Taxis and tuk-tuk drivers aim to avoid the gridlock by offering their long-distance riders extreme prices.

Tuk-tuk driver: Where you going?

Us: Our hotel on Decho Road. How much?

Tuk-tuk driver: 300 baht.

Us: 300????? How about 40?

Tuk-tuk driver: (laughing) No, no. 250.

Us: That's too much! Earlier today it was only 40. Now, 250? Why??

Tuk-tuk driver: Yes, but now is busy. Too many cars. You wait until midnight and I will take you. 60 baht, good price.

Us: That's in 6 hours! We want to go now.

Tuk-tuk driver: (Shakes his head)

A taxi pulls up.....

Taxi driver: Where you going?

Us: Decho Road. Meter?

Taxi driver: No, 200 baht.

Us: No meter? The light on the top of your car says, "METER TAXI!!!!"

Taxi driver: Meter is sleeping....

Us: ????

We finally made it home that night after finding a taxi who didn't agree to the meter, but gave us a more reasonable price than the few before. However, the next day we encountered a new set of trasnportation problems. We hopped into a taxi headed to another temple and was surprised when the driver agreed to use the meter. Feeling like good luck was on our side, we were happy to be out of the dirty air and into the comfort of an air-conditioned car. After fifteen minutes in stop-and-go traffic we noticed the car starting to stall. Assuming the driver wasn't paying attention to the clutch, I thought nothing of it. Each time he restarted the car with relative ease and we continued on. Ten minutes later...

Andrea: Is that smoke?

Me: Where?

Andrea: Oh, no, never mind. I guess it was coming from those trucks.

Me: Oh, I didn't see it.

Andrea: No, wait! It IS coming from our car!!!

We pulled over and the driver got out, popped the hood, and fanned the billowing smoke.

Me: (slightly laughing out of disbelief) Should we get out? What if the car catches on fire?

The driver came back and got a tool from the glove box. After a few seconds he shut the hood and got back in. We continued driving, but at the next stoplight the car died in the middle of traffic. Cars honked as they whizzed by and the driver, clearly embarrassed and frustrated, tried relentlessly to restart the engine. Eight minutes later, Andrea and I gave him some money (including a tip because I felt so sorry for him) and got out. We fought off tuk-tuk drivers for the next 30 minutes of our walk to the temple, which was closed by the time we arrived...